“About Us” Pages are boring!

I sometimes wonder why website owners pay so little attention to this page. And nobody comes up with something different. Isn’t it the page that is supposed to establish a USP – a unique selling proposition? The page that should market your company and tell everyone what makes your company different from others?

These types of pages are all the same, that’s what makes them boring. If you read 100 about us- pages you will possibly read 100 times the following:

1. We are the best in what we are doing and possibly in everything we will ever do
2. We really care about our clients even about the ones we don’t like
3. We think the client is always right
4. We have the best  customer service all day everyday
5. We offer inexpensive solutions, or we are less expensive then the competition
6. Our future is so bright we need sunglasses
7. We are different – don’t know what it is that makes us different but we are!

I actually wonder when Google will start filtering all about us pages as duplicate content. It wouldn’t surprise me.

At the risk of being called insane, but with the hope of baiting some inbound links, we try here a totally different approach:

Now let’s talk about us at Clever Marketing Consultants S.A.

I’ll go through each and every one of the points above and show you why
WE are INDEED different. When reading this you might well think I am joking, no I don’t, believe me I really mean it!

1. So you are the best in what you do and in everything else?
   

   Well here at Clever Marketing we do exactly what it says on the tin: Clever Marketing. We market your company and services to the biggest audience and fastest growing media on the planet: the World Wide Web.  In simple terms: We make websites sell something.

   
   

   Apart from that we are a bunch of completely useless www - geeks. Never ask us to do something else than online marketing, like repairing a car , changing tires, washing up, software installation, fixing your network problems,  or (god beware): hardware support. We just don’t know this stuff and to be honest we are not bothered either.

   
   

   It does what it says on the tin: Clever Marketing!

   
   
   
2. So you think we really should care about every client?
   

   Well at Clever Marking we don’t. We are totally selfish and only care about client’s that make us money. Yes, right we are in this business to make money not to stroke your EGO. Does this one really make us different? Does that come as a surprise?

   
   

   No, here is what does make us different: If we don’t like you we get rid of you, if you don’t make us money we don’t take you on, as simple as that. That gives us more time to focus on projects we really enjoy doing and to work with client’s that appreciate our efforts.

   
   

   We care about good clients and we choose them!

   
   
   
3. The client is always right?
   

   At Clever Marketing we think the client can not be right! Think about it, if what you are doing with your website was right, why would you talk to an online marketing consultant? You have a problem; your website does not sell anything or does not sell enough, that’s why you are talking to us. You are doing something wrong how can you be right?

   
   

   The definition of insanity is doing the same things all over again and expecting different results!!

   
   
   
4. We have the best customer service?
   

   No we don’t, actually our customer service is almost non existent. We don’t serve customers - we serve websites. Customers are actually a nuisance distracting us from our job with endless meetings and discussions about pretty pictures and how the website should look in their clueless opinion.

   
   

   Every minute we spend with a customer is taken away from the  job we are getting paid for: to  make your website perform better!

   
   
   
5. We have competitive prices?
   

   If you are looking for a cheap SEO solution we are not the right partner for you. Good SEO and online marketing can not be done cheap, it’s just not possible. We pride ourselves in being the leading internet marketing consultants in Spain, we play premier league and we charge prime money.

   
   

   We are very expensive!

   
   
   
6. The future is so bright we need sunglasses?
   

   Indeed, we have big plans for Clever Marketing Consulting S.A. which includes a listing on the Madrid stock exchange in the year 2012. At least that’s the plan but who knows – I might sell the Company and lay on the beach all day. Either way:  do you care? Let’s be honest, all you are interested in, is our present performance – fair enough, that’s what you pay for, that’s what you going to get.

   
   

   You’ll get what you pay for no more no less!

   
   
   
7. Now you know what makes us different:
   

   We allow ourselves the luxury of being slightly arrogant and direct to the point. We don’t believe in wasting time and our only concern is the performance of your website.

   
   

    ….and we do get results!

That was our "About Us" page , but if you need the usual bullshit here we go:

Without an Internet marketing strategy your business might as well shut shop. No matter how great the service you’re offering is, if nobody knows it exists it’s like flogging a dead horse. However, a clever Internet marketing strategy that affords your business the right kind of exposure can turn everything around and transform your company into the thriving success it deserves to be.

Clever Marketing specialises in affordable Internet marketing services, including website conceptualisation and design, search engine optimisation, database solutions, and online advertising consultancy. In the age of the computer, Internet marketing is the only way forward.

Founded in 2003 by Wolfgang Brand, Clever Marketing has become southern Spain’s leading Internet marketing specialist. 2006 saw an expansion by Clever Marketing into the real estate industry – not just on the Costa del Sol, but on the Costa Blanca, and in Mallorca and Tarragona – and Clever Marketing now serves some of Spain’s leading real estate agents and property developers. In fact, the service has proved so successful that Clever Marketing now specialises in Internet property marketing services. And with an aim to expand further into Europe – into countries such as Germany, the Czech Republic and the UK – the future of Clever Marketing has never been brighter.

Today, Clever Marketing operates more than 40 websites on behalf of its clients, in addition to several of its own.